So, you’ve decided that it’s time for you to jump on the self-love bandwagon. Congratulations! But what do you do when the wagon seems like it’s going a million miles an hour and your head is full of doubts and fears? You’re not alone.
When you are trying to practice self-love, you’re going to run into a few obstacles along the way. Self-love can be one of the hardest things to cultivate, especially when we’re constantly bombarded with messages that tell us we’re not good enough. These can really derail your progress if you aren’t prepared. By being aware of the common obstacles, you can take steps to prevent them.
So, let’s look at some of the most common obstacles people face when trying to practice more self-love.
- Lack of confidence
Lack of confidence is the biggest hurdle that people face when it comes to loving themselves. When you lack confidence, you stay in your comfort zone because that's where you feel safe. You're afraid to take risks because you don't think you're capable of succeeding.
Additionally, lack of confidence often manifests itself as a feeling of inferiority. You may believe that you're not good enough or that you don't have what it takes to be successful. And finally, one of the most common thoughts people have about self-love is that "successful people are born with it." This simply isn't true. With a little bit of coaching and guidance, anyone can learn to love themselves.
- Negative self-talk
Almost everyone has experienced negative self-talk at some point in their life. It's that little voice in your head that tells you that you're not good enough, that you can't do it, or that you're too shy to try. Negative self-talk is a major hurdle to overcome on the path to self-love. It's no secret that the way we communicate with ourselves plays a major role in the way we see and experience the world around us.
If the thoughts that run through your head are mostly negative, your outlook on life is more likely pessimistic. You can learn to turn negative thinking into positive thinking. The process is simple, but it does take time and practice — you're creating a new habit, after all.
Perfectionism is one of the biggest obstacles to self-love. It can be tough to accept yourself when you’re always striving for perfection. You’re never going to be happy with yourself if you’re always beating yourself up for not meeting impossible standards.
While a little perfectionism can be a good thing, especially in business, it can also lead to disappointment, frustration, and unhappiness. When you feel like everything must be perfect, you aren’t going to be happy when you fall short. Understand what draws your perfectionism and identify your triggers. Remember, nobody is perfect, not even you!
Codependency is often mistaken for being needy, clingy, and emotionally unstable. In reality, people with codependency often don't even realize that they have this condition. Instead of seeing codependency for what it is—a behavior condition—it's associated with being needy, weak, and emotionally fragile.
If you struggle with codependency, it's important to explore your own body, mind, and emotions. Find out what you love to do, acknowledge the things that make you feel bad. Listen to yourself and focus solely on you. In doing so, you'll gradually learn how to love and take care of yourself—the healthy way.
- Setting boundaries. You aren’t surrounded by positive, healthy relationships
A huge obstacle to self-love is having to deal with negative and toxic people. These are the people in your life who constantly make you feel bad about yourself or try to control you. They can be a major drain on your energy and resources and can prevent you from being happy and achieving success.
If you find yourself constantly struggling with these people, it may be time to set some boundaries. Surround yourself with positive, healthy relationships that make you feel good about yourself. While all relationships go through hard times, for the most part they should lift you up and make you feel positively about yourself.
So, if you have relationships which cause you more misery than happiness, now is the time to start taking a step back and focusing on healthier, happier relationships. Surround yourself with positive, healthy relationships.
While all relationships go through hard times, for the most part they should lift you up and make you feel positively about yourself. After all, you’ll struggle to love yourself if you are surrounded by people who make you feel bad.
- Not understanding how to love yourself
Finally, another barrier is not understanding how to love yourself. Many people don’t fully understand what self-love means. They mistakenly think it is about doing things you want to do, rather than what you need.
Self-love isn’t just about treating yourself; it is about making sure you are fulfilling your needs. For example, if you want to lose weight, indulging in junk food isn’t going to help, even though it might be brining temporary joy. Instead, a healthier diet and exercise routine is considered a form of self-love as it helps you to become healthier and fulfils the body’s needs.
Learning to love yourself can be a difficult journey, but it's well worth the effort. These 6 common self-love hurdles are just a few of the obstacles that can stand in your way. But with the help of a self-love coach, you can overcome any challenge and learn to love yourself unconditionally.
If you’re not ready to invest in coaching finding people, you trust and who build you up is a big part of being able to practice self-love. However, don’t forget to be your own personal cheerleader too.